"Me Too"

Cindy is a spunky 17 year-old who I met almost nine years ago when she arrived at NPH Honduras with her older sister Karla. After their mother passed away, the siblings were split up and sent to live with different relatives. They were reunited by our NPH social worker and brought to the Ranch.

I first met the sisters while they stayed in our internal clinic for their first few days, getting acclimated. There was something about the two of them, like oil and water. They loved each other but they were complete opposites. Karla was sweet and huggy while Cindy was reserved but had a hard edge to her that over the years, was difficult to get through. Karla was open about her feelings while Cindy just nodded and would not reveal how she felt.

Six years later on an April day, their life changed once again. They were able to share a few hours visiting with their father whom they hadn’t seen in nine years. Roberto, embraced his daughters and thanked God for the chance to be able to hold his girls. Being wrongly accused of a crime, Roberto was sentenced by the judge of minors to not see his children. Their father had missed major milestones in the girls lives, like quinceañeras and graduations, but they were able to show him pictures and recount stories. They also proudly showed off their dorm rooms and introduced him to their caregivers.

Karla decided when she turned 18 years old, that she would like the opportunity to live with her father. In 2007, after she completed her obligations to the home, she moved out and now receives an academic scholarship and returns to the Ranch on scheduled trips to help her other family, NPH.

Cindy finished her academic year studying 8th grade and worked on her vocational training in tailoring. Currently she is living with extended family members completing her vocational internship at a business.

During a recent visit, I especially noticed a change in Cindy. It was the first time I ever heard her open up and talk about her feelings. She finally had a voice to how she felt and was able to trust and share her thoughts. I was so surprised. This shy reserved girl discussed important topics like her family and her future at the Ranch. What a change.

Over the years, every time I have left the Ranch and hugged Cindy good-bye, I would always tell her I loved her. She could never respond and just nodded, but I knew how she felt. This time when I told her I loved her, she said, “me too!”

A Visit to Hell

Day 4 & 8 in Haiti

I was told to smoke a cigarette; instead I inhaled the second hand smoke around me. I was stunned and praying to God while holding back the tears, telling myself to cry later. I stood next to Father Rick inside the refrigerated morgue in Port-au-Prince as he said prayers for the dead. But these weren’t the dead that we are used to, these are the dead in Haiti in which no one has compassion or care. These are the dead in which their bodies are piled and flung on top of one another in atrophied positions. Eyes open, heads bleeding and bodies bloated.

As Father said the prayers I prayed for a greater empathy for the people who work here, for the country to seek a human way to honor a life, but as Father pointed out earlier in the day, all happens for the good of another act. His team goes to the morgue once a week to collect the bodies that nobody wants, that can’t afford a burial. They place the bodies in hand made paper mache coffins, place a rosary in the coffin and bury them in the countryside. A much better place. They are only in the morgue as a transition into their next life.

We returned three days later to collect the bodies and transport them to the burial site. I had these days to mentally prepare, but it was horrific. I stood next to each coffin inside the morgue while the team, all men, placed the bodies inside. The man choosing the bodies, worked for the morgue and he had on knee high boots and gloves up to his elbows, because fluid and bodies parts were spilling out and leaking all over. Our team of guys did a fantastic job and there were three in particular that did all the bodily handling while the others moved the full coffins. One of the handlers sang to keep our mind off of the horror. The children have first priority so 15-20 children at a time fit into one coffin. In total there were around 200. When I looked down to place the rosary in each coffin, the tiny children looked like dolls, some only being a few inches long.

We filled four trucks with coffins and drove about 45 minutes outside the capital to a beautiful plot of land. The graves were already dug by the local peasants. A band played as the men placed the coffins inside the graves.

In order to create a few jobs in a jobless economy, Father Rick has ex-pequeños or youths that once lived at the NPH orphanage, making the paper coffins and rosaries. The grave diggers make a few dollars and so does the band.

This experience has made such a strong impression on me. When I close my eyes I can still see the bodies. While I was in the morgue I kept telling myself that they are going to a peaceful, lovely place. That was all I could think about, inside that building of hell.

The cost for this outreach program, Burials for the Indigent, is $52,000 a year for 2,000 children and 500 adults.

For more photos, visit
Burying the Dead
http://picasaweb.google.com/MonicaGery/BuryingTheDead?authkey=vVmCzMjX4_k#

18 hours to Gonaïves and back

Day 2 & 3 in Haiti

It started like a normal day. Truck packed, on the road, nice weather, wind in your hair, except that we were headed into the disaster zone of the effects of a hurricane and the onset of an approaching one. Hanna and Ike, not pleased to meet you and neither is the country of Haiti.

Our truck was one of five on route to Gonaïves with supplies of purified drinking water, food, clothes, medical supplies, generator and diesel. After two hours of beautiful landscape, we began to see some remnants of the flooding. Houses with a few feet of water and flooded fields. There are two routes into Gonaïves, one was entirely under water and the second was rough but we made it through. When we entered the outskirts of the city at 12:30 pm, Father Rick, Nebez and Rafael met us on the highway into town. They had flown in the night before by UN helicopter and slept on the Sisters of Charity roof.

As we drove into the town, people were leaving in droves, 10,000 according to the NY Times. Everything was covered in mud. The majority of the streets were flooded and as we entered the town square all the streets were flooded. Many families were living on their roofs with a tarp protecting their belongings. Bridges collapsed, cars and trucks were flipped over, mud and water filled the homes. When we arrived at the Sisters of Charity, their street outside their compound was not flooded, but once you entered their gates, it was 2 feet thick of mud. The water had been up to the first floor roof and a handful of their sick elderly drowned because they were standing on benches and they lost their balance.

When the other trucks arrived, we split up and half of us went to a local parish to distribute 21,000 servings of drinking water. To unload the other trucks at the Sisters we had to walk through the mud carrying the bags. At 6:30 pm it was dark and started to thunder. Hurricane Ike was approaching but according to the weather that morning it was north of Haiti, aiming for Cuba. The problem was that Hanna was a tropical storm status when it touched Haiti and it inflicted so much flooding damage; much of this is due to the area's deforestation.

When the generator was unloaded and we hit the road with our caravan, it was 7:30 pm raining and dark. Our five trucks left Gonaïves to make the estimated five hour drive back to Port au-Prince. Two hours into the drive, there was a delay due to other trucks stuck in front of us. We were stopped for about one hour. It was raining lightly but nothing extreme. Each hour that passed, the rain increased. At 2 am, we arrived at the river at Mirebalais. It was raging and with the heavy rain and thunder there was nothing we could do besides wait it out. Our truck had seven people in it and after being tired from a long day we all fell asleep. I was nudged between the driver and Fr. Rick. At 5 am, the rain finally stopped and it started to get light, but the river was the same. There was no way back and no way forward.

As the neighbors began to wake up, more and more people came out to assess the river. Music started to blare from a shack and Father told us that it was voodoo music. He said if the voodoo gods can’t help us then maybe the catholic ones can. He has a good sense of humor. Within two hours, the guys in our group started to gather the bystanders and started to wade in the river. They began moving large boulders and figuring out the best way across. At 9 am Fr. Rick told myself, and three others, that we should cross the river and that he called someone to pick us up on the other side. We waded in and held hands as we crossed with the water up to the tops of our thighs.

As we were waiting on the right side of the river that guys worked especially hard to create a path across. They were able to get one truck across even though it took them 1 hour. At times they were digging lots of mud out from the bottom of the truck. At 10 am a bulldozer arrived. It cleared a better path and our four other trucks got across and by 11 am we were on our way home.

Father then took us all out to eat at the local deli for a burger and fries. There were about 15 of us. When we returned, I never felt to relived to take a shower and to sleep horizontal in a bed.

Unfortunately Ike slammed Gonaïves again and many other parts of Haiti like Cabaret, where 50 children drowned (we went there yesterday). Port au Prince had some flooding as well but the hospital where I am staying in Tabarre is fine. The orphanage in Kenscoff did have some damage with the roof blowing off the school, fallen trees, and leaks.

I’m not sure if it was the voodoo gods or the catholic ones, but we were all very relived to make it back safety. Sadly, the Sisters were flooded again. The water up to their second floor and the have to start the whole clean up process over again. The government postponed the start of the school year one month due to all the misplaced families.

Click this link to view photos

One Year Anniversary

When I was in Honduras last week, something felt odd. For one, when I arrived at the Ranch it was like I never left. As I hugged and greeted people, their first question was “Y Margarita?” which literally translates “and Margarita?” I got to share about the wonderful progress she has made over the year. I was able to tell stories of her learning English, a new school system and the day she was lost and picked up by the police. I visited with Tia Marixa, a woman that cared for Margarita for over 1.5 years, when she lived at Montana de Luz. Marixa is an exceptional woman and a caregiver to all. I told her over a meal of pupusas, that Margarita asked me one day… “Mom, why did you pick me?” after reminiscing about her early years at Montana de Luz.

During my trip, the time spent with my best friend Chris was full of excitement and activity as she planned and organized her foundation where she recently received a grant from the Global Fund. One thing was different between us though…we used to spend countless hours discussing our adoptions and the insane legal hoops we had to jump through, but this time none of that was threaded throughout our conversations. This time we got to talk about our children, their successes and challenges, growing up in Honduras vs the US and how do we as adults mix both worlds.

It has been one year today that we arrived in the US, that Margarita became a citizen and that we started our life together as a family with Skz. For mother’s day and father’s day this year, not only did we get to spend it together, but my parents were here with us, making it a double blessing.

Tonight we celebrated by going out for our favorite food…PIZZA, and let me tell you, even though I love Honduran pupusas they don’t come close to a Margarita pizza!


Thank you to everyone that has made this year so special.
We love you.
Monica, Margarita and Skz

Feliz Prospero Año!

Hello all. Margarita, Monica and Skz wish you a Happy New Year!

We are celebrating that we are together this year. Well Skz and I are going out to dinner and then a party. Abuela Donna is staying home with Margarita and they will be watching Sleeping Beauty. Skz and I have missed being together the past 2 new years so it will be nice to go out on a date.

Margarita enjoyed Christmas, along with our new adopted cat Amaya. She showed up two months ago with 3 kittens. We fostered the kittens for one month until a permanent foster was found. 

Abuela Donna arrived in December and Skz's sister LeAnn came down from Utah. Margarita got to hike to the top of Piestewa Peak Mountain. She did a great job.

We got invited to a Christmas party at the Ritz Calrton, which was a treat. Margarita got her picture taken with Santa and they served macaroni and cheese, her favorite.

Christmas eve we went to candlelight service and on Christmas day my sister came over and we all went out for Indian food. 

In 2008, we are looking forward to my very good friend and her son visiting. Chris and Gregorio will be here for 10 days in January. Chris is the reason I met Margarita in 2001. Margarita was the third child that came to live at the home where Chris was the director. Gregorio and Margarita have grown up together and they have a very special bond that spans from brother/sister to statements, mostly from Margarita that they will be husband and wife one day. They even have their own language and understand each other completely. It will be fun to have them visit and do activities here in Arizona that we could never do in Honduras. Part of me misses Honduras terribly. It is never far from my mind.

I start on-site freelancing in January at an agency that I worked at previously and also have a few clients to keep me busy.

Skz is still hoping to sell or rent out the loft space. Here is the link of the site

I hope everyone has a fabulous New Year and wishing you all the best for 2008.

Love,

Monica and family

(Picture is Margarita on the path at the Ranch)

Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them. 

Leo Tolstoy

October First's

October was a month of many first's.

First photo shoot with our friend who is a professional photographer.















First State Fair with Tia Chanon.















First pumpkin patch.















First birthday celebration together as a family.



















First bike.




















First Halloween.


















First Trick or Treating with Dad, the K9 officer.

Margarita’s Adjustment

I didn’t know what to expect, but as usual, Margarita’s adaptability has been a huge blessing. She has jumped right into living in a very hot city, new school and meeting people.
In airport

The first order of business was to introduce herself as Margaret to her teacher and all the new friends and family she meets. After being in the US one day, she put a post-it note on her bedroom door and bathroom, stating that Skz and I needed to ask permission to enter. Skz jokingly pointed out that she had to share a bedroom and bathroom with me in Honduras and here she is one day after her arrival and she has already claimed her territory.

Swimming in pools was Margaret’s next encounter when the boy across the street invited her to come over and swim. She soon asked every day, repeatedly if she could go swimming. We don’t have a pool but luckily have easy access to one and my sister has one as well.

She acted like the huge public library was old hat. I was a bit disappointed in this because it was one of my childhood favorites and I was so excited to see her reaction to it. Margaret walked right in and started picking out books, making sure that she liked what was on the cover first. She wasn’t phased that the building was five stories high or that it was made out of glass.

Margaret is attending the local public school and is in first grade. She is in the first grade classroom that is called Structure English Immersion, where the teacher is trained in the state education program and the materials and teaching methods are geared towards second language learners. There are handful of children who are at the same level as Margaret and the teacher feels confident that she will do great.

She was also evaluated by a speech therapist that knew two of the therapists from NPH Honduras. Small world. Margaret will continue to have therapy twice a week that will target on certain issues.

Some interesting comments from her;
“Mom, the kids don’t fight in the U.S.” (After a few days of attending school)
“It’s so pretty and clean here.”
“I’m going to be a doctor,” (she replied, when asked by a girl at her bus stop what she was going to be. The girl then told her that SHE was going to be a rock star and Margarita could sign back-up)
“Wow Mom, the food is so good here,” while drinking her first Starbucks Raspberry Frappicuno with whipped cream


Adjusting to a 2-parent household has been rather bumpy at times. The idea of sharing her mom and getting accustom to having a dad around is a learning process for her. Luckily both grandmothers have been around to visit and give her extra, extra attention and spoils. Skz is doing a fantastic job and knows exactly when to step in and take charge. Parenting is so different when you have a partner.







Finally, throughout this whole adoption process, we got to celebrate by having a party hosted at my sister’s house. Over 30 adults and 10 kids arrived to meet Margaret and to share some time with us. I had to stop at times and breath it all in. Especially when my mom was here and we were all eating dinner together in our house, the entire family. I took a deep breath and I thought of all our friends and family still in Honduras and how torn my heart is, being in both places. I would not change this time for anything though and daily, when I have my moments, really can’t believe that we are actually here.

Pros of the Ranch (Honduras) vs the U.S., according to Margarita
Pros in US
Chain cord to light in her closet
Tubular enclosed slides on jungle gyms at school playground

Pros at the Ranch
The Porton (the main gate, this made Margarita feel secure she said and that they watched out for the people coming and going.)
Pancakes
La Venta (where the babysitter Dania and her family lives)

Hope you are all doing well and please drop me a email at
monica.gery@revolutionagency.com
or
mgery@nph.org

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers during our transition.
Love,
Monica